The Only Way to Fully Enjoy a Housing Bubble


Buy a new beachfront home with the expanded borrowing power you gained from another beachfront home you own, but don’t live in, which just appreciated %35, owing to two more vacant beach-front homes in your neighborhood which were purchased this week at 130% of what you paid for yours, owing to those buyers’ newly-found borrowing power owing to property-value increases owing to property value increases in other neighborhoods in which no one lives, but in which properties are known to have “flipped” for more than %25 gains, the funds for which the flippers raised by leveraging additional beach front properties they don’t live in, on which “assets” they have sub-4-point, negative-equity mortgages.

Now die in a oral-sex-receiving accident.

Before anything buckles or breaks.

You win!